


Not Even a Mouse

by artist_artists



Series: Can You Repeat the Question? [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: Christmas, Future Fic, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-23
Updated: 2013-12-23
Packaged: 2018-01-05 20:02:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1098053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artist_artists/pseuds/artist_artists
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Christmas Eve at the Hummel/Anderson home is always an adventure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Even a Mouse

**Author's Note:**

> This is in the same 'verse as the bizarre "Klaine with monster children" Malcolm in the Middle AU I posted last week. It might make more sense if you read that first. In this fic, monster children are heard but not seen. I DON'T KNOW WHY ANY OF THIS EXISTS, I'M SORRY.

“This isn’t going to work,” Blaine says, surveying all of the wrapped gifts under their tree. “We need to hide some.”

Kurt turns to Blaine, eyebrow raised. “Hide some? Excuse me?”

“Well, that or we have to run out and get some more things,” Blaine replies, throwing up his hands in exasperation. “And it’s almost midnight on Christmas Eve, so I doubt _that’s_ happening.”

“How much eggnog have you had, Blaine? We just dragged all of this stuff out here, why would we hide it?”

“The numbers are all wrong,” Blaine says, like it’s obvious. “They’re going to count these presents and all hell will break loose.”

Kurt frowns. “I know we don’t have the most benevolent children in the world, but they’re hardly a bunch of spoiled little brats counting their gifts like Dudley Dursley!”

“Not like that,” Blaine says with a sigh. “But they’re going to notice that some of them have more gifts than others! God, I never should have trusted you with this! This is going to be a disaster!”

“No, no, no, I spent the same amount of money on all of them! Down to the dollar, I swear! Do you have any idea how much planning this took? I made spreadsheets, Blaine. I waited weeks for sales that would help me do this _perfectly._ ”

“And how are they going to know that?” Blaine asks. “All they see is the size of the piles. We better hide the matches, ‘cause Cady’s going to burn this house down when she finds out she only has five.”

“One of them is a brand new phone! And one of them is just a box with a bunch of cash, which, by the way, _is what she asked for_. You’re being ridiculous! They’ll be fine,” Kurt insists, though he’s starting to doubt it. How had he not thought to consider the size of the piles?

“Ezra has the most. You know Atticus is going to pull the whole ‘Does this mean Santa thinks I’m not a good boy’ thing. He learned that from Cady.”

“He doesn’t even believe in Santa,” Kurt argues feebly, but he knows little details like that don’t matter to his kids.

“And if we were going based off of behavior, all of them would get giant lumps of coal, anyway,” adds Blaine.

“Aw, not Alex! She’s still a good kid.”

Blaine gives Kurt a look of disbelief. “Kurt, yesterday I turned my back for 10 seconds and she somehow managed to climb into the sink and break it.”

Kurt frowns. “True. But at least she’s still young enough to look adorable while she destroys everything we own?”

“Yeah, there is that,” Blaine agrees. “Do you think there’s any possible way she’ll still believe in Santa after this Christmas?”

“There’s a chance. She already knows not to trust any of her siblings.”

“It would just be nice to have one kid who still believes in Santa when they hit pre-school.”

“That might be too optimistic in this house,” Kurt muses. “Cady only made it to 4 because she didn’t have anyone to ruin it for her.”

“Well, besides _you_ ,” Blaine teases, bumping Kurt’s shoulder with his own.

Kurt groans. “It was an accident! How was I supposed to know she’d be listening in on our conversation?”

“Because back then, she used to listen to _everything_ we said,” Blaine says with a sigh. He turns so he’s facing Kurt, then presses in close, wrapping his arms around Kurt and resting his chin on Kurt’s shoulder. “Oh, the good old days.”

Kurt turns his head and presses a kiss to his husband’s hair.. “Look on the bright side - once Alex finds out about Santa Claus, we don’t have to worry about all of this anymore.”

“We can just throw all their stuff on the floor and let them fight to the death,” Blaine says, and Kurt can hear him smiling.

“That’s not that far off from what it usually looks like. Ugh, you’re right about tomorrow. I screwed up, the piles are going to be different sizes, they’re going to riot.”

Blaine laughs and pulls back a little so he’s facing Kurt. “I might have overreacted a little bit. The past few days have been stressful.”

“They have,” Kurt agrees. “But you’re probably right about them being upset. Maybe if I produced all the receipts to prove that I spent the exact same amount…”

“Nah, they don’t need to know how much money we have. That could only lead to horrible things.”

“Good point. I guess we’ll have just have to hope for the best. At least the tree looks nice.”

“Yeah, I spent 45 minutes putting the ornaments back on and straightening up the lights after the kids went to bed,” Blaine says. “We should take some pictures with all the gifts underneath.”

“After we set up the stockings,” Kurt says. “If one of them wakes up before we get to bed, we won’t get to sleep at all.”

“Until tomorrow night, when Grandma and Grandpa relieve us of all child-wrangling duties,” Blaine says, grinning. Burt and Carole’s gift this year is a full night of babysitting so Kurt and Blaine can go stay in a hotel and have some alone time. No one has ever gotten them a more precious gift.

“I’d pity them, if they didn’t enjoy watching the kids much.”

“They’re gonna love it, the kids are gonna love it...”

“And _we_ are gonna love it most of all,” Kurt says with a grin.

“Merry Christmas to us,” Blaine murmurs, pressing a kiss to Kurt’s lips. Kurt kisses back, but is distracted by a creaking noise from down the hall.

“What was that?” Kurt asks as soon as he pulls away. “Did you hear that?”

“Nope.”

“I heard a noise,” Kurt insists.

“I don’t think--”

“Shhh! If we hide under the kitchen table, maybe they’ll think we’re still asleep and go back to bed.”

Blaine can’t help but laugh as Kurt tugs his arm toward the kitchen. “Never a dull moment in this house.”

Kurt turns back, a soft smile on his face. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”


End file.
